Have you ever wondered how much people get from your expressions? That maybe what you are thinking is not necessarily what is being projected to others? Sometimes what is going on in our heads is not what shows on our faces. Our expressions can sometimes shut down communication and lead to many misunderstanding. Rather than assume they know what we are thinking, we should open up the door by asking them to join in a conversation. It may take you somewhere.
Have you ever heard, “What is wrong?” and there really be nothing wrong but according to those around you, you look sad, mad, upset, ______ (fill in the missing emotion). What if you actually told them, nothing was wrong but they did not believe you? Do you stop talking? Do you stop trying? Do you put up fences and walls to stop the madness?
Could it be that rather than them not understanding what it is that is in your mind, or even heart, as they ‘read’ your face, but that they are possibly projecting onto you what they are actually feeling or thinking? Could they have a need to talk and share even if they do not realize it?
Maybe you need to turn it around when asked that question. Maybe the next time someone asks, “What is wrong?” and you know that you genuinely are ok and feel fine, that your expression is being misread, you should ask the questioner what may actually be bothering them. Even if you have told them you are fine, but they do not believe you. Who knows? Have you ever been in one of those conversations that you have wondered how on earth it even got started, but you are glad that it indeed got started? Rather than someone misreading your expressions and beginning to go through, “I swear. Nothing. Is. Wrong! I am just lost in my own thoughts.” Or worse, “I was fine. But now that you keep hounding me and telling me that you KNOW something is wrong, yes, there is. You have done made me mad!” Now there is actually something wrong…and it may just be a fight on the horizon.
Maybe if someone misreads you, and you open the door for a conversation by turning the table and asking them if something is wrong or on their mind, a chance to have a decent and honest conversation has just revealed itself. Maybe if you allow yourself to get beyond the misinterpretation, the fact that they are not listening to you or hearing you, you can have a conversation that takes you to places your relationship has never gone before. Needs to go. Who knows, all of those wide open conversations just present a whole new level of understanding.