Late at night is a great time to try to see things more clearly. I notice that I usually tend to go into panic mode when thinking in the middle of the night. However, while out walking Stella (at about 2:30 in the morning), I really do not have time to focus on me. There really is not much room for the worry and panic of what I may not have finished earlier in the day. Having to focus on the needs of others, Stella in this case, forces me to prioritize my anxieties. About what really should I be worrying? Focusing on another’s needs forces my energy away from the negative train wreck of late night thinking. Forces me to let go of the things throughout my day that were out of my control. The thinking that gets completely out of whack. It usually starts with something small that builds upon itself and becomes something large and looming. Overwhelming even. Right now, I can focus on her, her immediate need and the beauty of a spring moon in a very clear sky. By the time we have made our several laps around the yard, my thinking has changed. No longer focusing on things I did not have time to finish or how badly I may have done something earlier in the day leaves room for more positive thinking. The task will still be there waiting tomorrow and most likely I actually probably did not do so badly on whatever task I distorted inside my head. Instead, I focus outside of myself. This usually is a better place to be anyway. Outside of myself, I stumble upon surprises like a bright gorgeous spring moon, which really is a gift of time passing. I may have missed this late night surprise had I been stuck inside my thoughts. Thank you Miss Stella. You force me to focus outside of my small world and see things much more clearly.
